They should really pass out barf bags in church
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
