please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
