I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
wow bdsm is so cute
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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