Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
