wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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