Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
