FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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