as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
