I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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