I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
do herpes really smell.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
