Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
