3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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