Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
