That's when you crack a 10am beer
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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