her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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