So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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