I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize