people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
