Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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