The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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