oh god the rape fog is back!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
