How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
