I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize