I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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