All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
