True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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