im holly from the hills drunk
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
ok first of all what the fuck
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
