we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
