why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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