Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Randomize
