Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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