And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
