I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
