your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
