he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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