i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
