last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
