You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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