i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
