They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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