please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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