This dress was meant to end up on your floor
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
