arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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