holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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