i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize