I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They took my balls.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
