she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
