Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
