@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
