it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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