Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
