Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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