It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
