Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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