God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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