I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
