I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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