Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize