absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
