why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
