UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We need to get me chipped asap
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
