Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
