So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
