Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Im part way to drunk.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
