i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize