It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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