I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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