whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize