Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So vagazzling was a success
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize