That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
