is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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