Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
