two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
