I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
