my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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