Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
